I Never Used To Be This Stupid
by Stef
Summary: A Few love-induced, stupidity-enhanced moments between Elle and Sylar.


"_Love is being stupid together." _–Paul Valery

**I. **

He knows it's a stupid thing to do. She does as well. It doesn't really stop them, however. They've been given an assignment and they're totally distracted by one another. He doesn't let on that her gentle coaxing (dangerous goading) has anything to do with it. She pretends to think that it doesn't have anything to do with they way he looks at her a little too long. But they both know.

This is the beginning of something stupid.

Elle hides her electric eyes behind a large pair of sunglasses. It's no longer her turn to drive and the sun's going down, but it makes it easier for her to hide her secrets if it doesn't feel like Gabriel can see into her brain. She can't spill the truth now. Not when he's doing her bidding because of her words, or her body, or her power. _Their_ power, she thinks. Feels a little funny in her stomach when she mentally corrects herself.

She daydreams she's on a team of super-villains from a comic book. She supposes she _is_ and allows herself to laugh a little at the fact. Elle always fancied herself a good guy, but acting bad feels so much cooler. Now, here she sits next to the biggest, baddest guy of all time. He's got a severe crush on her; which she's totally exploiting, so maybe that kind of makes her a villain in a way. Maybe the sunglasses can be part of her costume.

"What's so funny?" Gabriel asks, eyes leaving the road for a second.

Elle shrugs. "Just thinking."

One of those big eyebrows lifts a little at this. He doesn't ponder What If scenarios much, but wonders if things would be going the same way if he hadn't killed her father. If he hadn't tried to kill her. If he hadn't killed Trevor Zeitan and just kissed her instead. Now who's just thinking?

"Well, I hope you're not thinking of killing another innocent person. The last one is sure to get us in enough trouble with my dad." He tells her, pulling into a motel parking lot.

"First of all," she takes her sunglasses off for what she hopes is dramatic effect. "I never killed anyone innocent."

Gabriel rolls his eyes at this. Of course she has. The way she phrases things make her not-quite lying, but Gabriel knows she's a sociopath. She lies like she breathes: constantly. He's just glad he knows when she is and when she isn't. Well, he mostly knows.

"Second," Elle unbuckles her seatbelt. "After we decided to steal this car, I'm sure we made it onto Daddy's Little Shit List."

"I think it was you who decided that, but go on." Gabriel teases her.

Elle squints at him and shakes her head. Her voice rises as she continues. "And third, stopping somewhere overnight in an _ob_-viously stolen car is the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do!"

Gabriel's eyes narrow. "Don't yell at me."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Elle shouts at him.

"Don't call me stupid." His tone rises a bit.

"I'll call you whatever the fuck I want! You're not my boss!" Elle's hand scrambles to find the Corvette's door handle.

"And you are not mine." Gabriel says quietly, dangerously as he grabs Elle's wrists in his large hands.

She knows how to win this argument.

"Aren't I, Gabriel?" She whispers against his lips. He's not stupid enough to miss the double meaning of her words.

When he moves in to kiss her, Elle pulls away. She smiles when his seatbelt impedes his progress. Gabriel frowns and unbuckles the offending safety device. He's certainly not blushing since serial killers do _not_ blush. "We should swap cars here." He says like it's his idea.

"You think?" Elle asks, all singsong. She finally locates the door handle to the car and hops out, relishing in the embarrassed look on Gabriel's face. She turns away from the car to rub at her wrists- not because they hurt, but because he wasn't touching them. Elle decides she hates herself a little for liking how warm his hands are.

**II.**

Stupid decisions lead to stupid consequences and right now, Elle can't think of a more stupid way to die.

He's much bigger than her- stronger than her. Powers or not, Elle knows better than to fight back. She knows that getting a Sylar haircut is the least messy, and probably least painful way for her to go out. She figures she deserves it. She lied to him. Toyed with him. Teased him. Lead him on.

She regrets nothing, except maybe falling in love with him. That was definitely stupid. More stupid than kissing Peter. More stupid than fucking Adam. Still, she's not sure she'd undo it, given the chance. It felt so nice to have someone hold her, worry about her, protect her. Even Daddy didn't do much of that. So no. Maybe she doesn't regret falling in love with Gabriel. Too late to take it back now, anyway.

When the cutting through her skin stops, she figures she must be dead. Wondering what the Afterlife is like, she opens one eye and hazards a look around. When she sees him still on top of her, her other eye opens. Oh God, he's crying. Who cries when they kill someone! What a stupid reaction! Still, he hasn't finished the job and maybe she can convince him not to.

"Gabriel?" Elle brings her free hand up to touch the side of his face. He doesn't flinch like she did. He trusts her. She feels like an asshole. "You stopped. Wh-"

"Elle," He starts, but can't bring himself to do or say much else. He buries his face in her neck instead.

She can feel his body shake, his breath exhale sharply against her skin. She rubs his back and pets his hair. She's never comforted a crying person before, let alone a crying _man_. Elle's pretty sure she's never even seen a man cry. She'd laugh if it was anyone else, but it's not. It's Gabriel. And he's so sad.

Later, Elle sits in the sand, Gabriel's head in her lap. She'll need stitches on her forehead, probably, but the pain doesn't seem to faze her. She's glad to still be alive. Glad Gabriel's a little soft when it comes to her. Glad she could see this part of him and still live to see the next day.

"You were sad." He says suddenly. His stubble scratches at her thigh.

"What?" Elle has no idea what he means. She strokes his hair back anyway.

"Before." Gabriel clarifies. "When we were in the stock room and Bennet slit my throat." He swallows hard, as if to make sure his throat still works the way it's supposed to. "I could hear you as I died, Elle. You were sad."

Elle shakes her head at the memory. She'd seen Bennet kill plenty of people, but it was never as personal as it was with Gabriel. He had always used a gun, or made her do it. Seeing Bennet slit Gabriel's throat, that look on Gabriel's face before it happened, her fear, and even her grief after the fact come rushing back to her. Tears threaten to spill, but she's cried enough lately.

"I really thought you were dead." Elle tells him. Doesn't add that she's glad he's not. She figures he knows, anyway.

"I was. For a little while." He kisses the inside of her thigh. "But what I'm getting at here is that I stopped cutting into you when I remembered something."

"Oh?" Elle hopes it's something good.

"I met Hiro Nakamura a while back and he told me that when I die, I'll die alone. He told me no one would mourn me, no one would even care." Gabriel sits up and studies Elle's face. "He said no one would love me."

Elle's no good at sappy moments. She needs to bring this back around to somewhere she feels comfortable. Besides, she definitely never said she loved him out loud. "Why didn't you kill him?" She asks this because this would have been her reaction. Has been her reaction.

Gabriel shrugs, not getting the reaction he wanted out of Elle. "I guess because he made me think about it for a minute. In the time it took for me to ponder what he'd said, he disappeared." He lies back on his elbows and watches Elle's long hair sway slightly as her head turns. "But you proved him wrong, Elle."

She lies beside him, on her stomach. She dips her head down to his and kisses him softly. Uses her body to tell him what her words simply can't yet. Elle doesn't want to lie when it comes to saying _that_.

"It was stupid of me to lie to you," Elle admits between kisses. "I'll never do it again."

"I know," he breathes against her mouth, climbs on top of her. She doesn't flinch when he brushes her hair away from her face this time. He's not stupid, though. There's got to be a lie-detecting power out there, he thinks.

**III.**

"You really want to do this here?" The Good Catholic Boy in Gabriel is utterly mortified.

"Well, it can't really happen in a church." Elle suggests. "Going to a courthouse is probably a stupid idea, too. But lots of people do this here!"

Gabriel folds his arms and sighs. "I never thought I'd be getting married by Elvis."

Elle smiles, full of carrot cake martinis. "Oh, no one's seen Elvis in like, forever. It's probably just an Elvis impersonator, Boo-boo."

Gabriel glances around at the passers-by. He hopes no one's overheard his stupid pet name. "Don't call me that. Especially not in public."

"But it's so cute." Elle argues, sliding her small hands up and down her boyfriend's chest. "Just like you." She loves that his face faintly colors at the compliment. "Plus you always whine when you get even the tiniest paper-cut. I swear, for being a serial killer? You have the lowest tolerance for pain I have ever seen. Since you get so many boo-boos, I think it's the perfect name for you, Boo-boo."

He pulls away when they reach a pay phone. "Why don't you broadcast it, Elle?" He rolls his eyes and reads through the pay phone's directory one more time. Maybe this is a stupid idea. Elle is drunk, he's hunting down someone with an ability, and earlier they spotted someone that resembled Bennet. Gabriel's mind changes when he finds the name he's been looking for. "How convenient," he mutters to himself, smirking.

"All I'm saying is maybe you should be a little scarier as the more murderous half of the unbreakable unit that is us, Gabriel. You cry way more than I do, you put more effort into your appearance than I do. I mean, twenty minutes on your hair? And it doesn't even look good. You need a trim in the worst way. Also, you're forever bitching about tidiness. I leave a sock on the floor ONE TIME and you-"

Elle has probably been rambling the entire time, but Gabriel pays it no mind. "We're going." He cuts her off, matter-of-fact.

Her mood shifts instantly. "Ooh, are we going to Cirque du Soliel?" She wraps both her arms around one of his and squeezes it tightly as they navigate the crowded sidewalk.

He takes a moment to shudder. He hates stupid Cirque du Soliel. "No. I found a guy who isn't Elvis to marry us." Gabriel says, petting Elle's little hand in the crook of his arm. He doesn't mention the guy is a Frank Sinatra impersonator. Still a little stupid, but certainly not as cliché. "Added bonus, it's the guy I've been looking for."

Elle loves added bonuses. "So we'll be able to retire for the night a little early?"

"If we're lucky." He promises, peeking down at her cleavage. Pretty soon, he'll be married to those boobs.

"Good." She leans a little closer to him as they walk and whispers "I really can't wait to have married sex with you."

Gabriel can't help but laugh. He can't wait, either. God help Noah Bennet if he slows them down tonight.

**IV.**

Elle hisses and shakes her bleeding finger a little bit. She skitters across the kitchen floor to the sink and runs the cold water over it, hoping to take the sting off a little bit. "Shit, that was stupid."

"Mama, no bad words." Noah reprimands his mother from his perch on the kitchen island. The eyebrows he's inherited from his father are arched disapprovingly. Apparently, he also inherited dear ol' dad's high handedness.

"Of course not, baby." Elle says, watching the cut close itself up. She dries her finger with the dishrag, then resumes cutting the sandwiches in half. She's almost done setting the table when Gabriel breezes in the door.

"Where's my lunch?" Gabriel shouts from the foyer, toeing off his shoes.

"It's on the table, come get it." Elle says to the wall. She cuts Noah's sandwich into four little squares and dreads the inevitable mess.

Gabriel appears in the doorway and shoves his hands into the sport coat. "Can't you bring it to me?" He's teasing her again. Encouraging her to show him.

Elle rolls her eyes in response, shaking her head. "I feel so exploited." She looks to her son. "Noah, tell Daddy he shouldn't be so lazy."

"No lazy Daddies." Noah says, an authoritative pinkie finger lifted away from his sandwich.

"Elle, baby…" Gabriel says in the tone she can't say 'no' to. "Just show me. Please?" He looks to his Mini-Me sitting on the island and suggests that he put his pinkie down.

"Fiiiine." Elle says, looking at the plate she's fixed for Gabriel. It scoots across the counter before floating through the kitchen to the doorway. It stops in front of Gabriel, who only takes a half of the sandwich off. "Aren't you going to pick the stupid plate up?" She points to the still hovering plate.

"I wanna see how long you can keep it up." Gabriel taunts her.

Elle pouts. She'd never think to have her own words used against her. Especially _those_ words. "I married a bully."

"I thought I married my protégé." Gabriel says in the same, long-suffering tone Elle used on him. "But I guess she can't hang with the cool telekinetics."

"I'm not your stupid protégé, Gabriel. I am your partner." Elle says, watching as she manipulates the plate on to the counter. "Besides, I didn't have any of these extra abilities until Noah manifested." She ruffles her son's thick hair affectionately. "So technically, no. You never _did_ marry your protégé." She smiles. She's won. "And I can deal with not being a cool telekinetic. Especially when I can still do this better than you." She zaps Gabriel, scorching a smoking hole in his tie.

He smiles anyway. At first he thought it was a stupid thing to move into the Bennet house. It wasn't like they needed it anymore. He saw to that when he cemented them into the bottom of the pool, filled it in, and put in a basketball court. He initially thought masquerading as Bennet while working for the government was a stupid idea, too. He came to see it definitely had its perks, knowing where they thought "The Sylar Family" would be next. When Elle suggested that their son (ironically named after the man who constantly tried to kill them) might have an ability, Gabriel thought that was stupid, too until Elle handed him a beer so cold it was nearly solid.

He finally learned to just embrace the stupid things since they seemed to be the best ideas.

Gabriel undoes the knot in his tie and slides it from his neck. He's got plenty, anyway. He sits at the island with his lunch and watches his family enjoy the stolen kitchen for a moment before breaking the bad news. "They may know who I really am, Elle."

Elle stops tickling Noah's bare feet, allowing the news to sink in. "How? You've been careful, right?" The old paranoia sinks in and Elle hazards a look out the window behind her. "Did you do something stupid?"

"Government mandated blood tests." He tells her. "It's a new thing every workplace has to abide by. They say it's to weed out potentially dangerous Specials, but… Nathan's way more careful that we've given him credit for."

"But doesn't that power use the person's DNA in order for you to shift?" Elle doesn't quite understand.

"Doesn't mean it'll properly match." Gabriel says, shifting into Bennet for a moment. "If they know I'm not him, even if they have any reason to _suspect_ I'm not…"

Elle's shoulders slump. One of Sandra's apron straps slides down her arm in defeat. "We have to move again." Stupid Nathan, tearing apart a nation, just to find the people responsible for murdering his entire family. "So what do we do?"

"I thought of going into business for myself. These blood tests are only required at corporations at the moment. If I had a small business, it would take them longer to find us." He's given this some thought. "And we wouldn't need to disguise ourselves." He shifts back to himself. "Plus I hate that stupid haircut."

"So you're expanding Gray and Sons?" Elle asks. She circles the island and stops to deposit Noah in his lap.

"Well, it'd only be Gray and _Son_, but-"

Elle stops him by placing his hand on her belly. "I have something to tell you, too."


End file.
